3 Calming Tips for the Anxious Mom
May 20, 2020

Being a mom is certainly not an easy job, but when you add anxiety to the equation, the mixture is unendurably oppressive. Fortunately, there are ways and techniques that can make the load a bit lighter. Below is an outline of three methods you can easily use in the midst of your busy, child-filled day to help inject some tranquility into your anxious mind.


1. In the moment of anxiety, think of something about that moment for which you are grateful.


Anxiety is usually a result of negative thinking, and the best way to combat those negative thoughts is to replace them with some positive ones. Gratitude can be one of the most powerful positive weapons against anxiety because it finds something good and even desirable about an anxiety-inducing situation.


If, then, you are upset that your toddler is playing rather than sleeping during naptime, be grateful that you have a healthy and active child. If making lunch is stressful, be grateful that you have food to feed your family. If, on the other hand, you are anxious about your potty-training child's having an accident, be grateful that you have a washing machine to help clean it up.


2. Think to yourself, "If I were a calm person, what would I do?" Then do it.


Stepping outside the situation and looking on it objectively sometimes helps in moments of anxiety. It is like a game of role play, in which you assume a particular identity and act it out. In the case of anxiety, viewing the ideal persona as something you can assume often gives sufficient distance to enable you to overcome your anxiety.


A temper tantrum may push all of your anxiety buttons, for example, but if you can step away from your feelings and imagine the reactions of a calm person, you can pause and then assume those reactions. You will find yourself acting calmly in the midst of your anxious thoughts, and once you are acting calmly, frequently your mind will follow suit.


3. Formulate an affirming mantra, and recite it to yourself throughout the day.


In the spirit of turning negative thoughts into positive ones, come up with a short saying that will directly contradict your anxiety. Make it your first idea in the morning, your response when your anxiety flares up, and your last thought before you go to bed. An affirmative assertion will remove you from your defensive position and will allow you to take charge of your anxiety. This assertion could be anything, but here are a few examples:


· I am calm and capable. I can do it.

· I have control of the situation.

· I know what to do.


Suppose you feel an attack of anxiety at the thought of how you are going to manage a day with a baby and a toddler and still keep your sanity. Immediately refer to your chosen mantra, and tell your anxious self that you, not circumstances, are in command. It may seem at first that you are telling yourself a lie, but you are actually creating the image of who you want to be. By repeating this image to yourself and making it a constant in your mind, you facilitate the process of assisting yourself to conform to this image.




Although anxiety can compound the problems of moms exponentially, do not be without hope. There are ways of managing the inner turmoil and enabling you to reach a state of calm and peace. With a little strategy and a little effort, an anxious mom life can become a relatively tranquil one.


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